Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
