I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
