you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My ATM looks so different sober.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize