u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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