You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
And then he peed in my hair
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