the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
