Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
