Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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