I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
