How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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