How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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