Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
