Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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