my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Randomize
