if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
