Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
