me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
