his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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