i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
