yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wish my penis had a tongue
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
