can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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