My brain says no but my pants say off.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
