it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
