I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
