i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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