I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
