I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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