So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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