Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
