She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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