You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
