i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
