Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
