I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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