I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
