At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
