A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
