i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize