i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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