So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
