I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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