Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
kristin has been a bad kristin
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
