You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
