how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Shame - the story of my life.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize