just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
