he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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