Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
