What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
