Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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