He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
