there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
