Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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