I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
