i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
