Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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