I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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