What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
