how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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