ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it's like heaven, but drunker
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
