They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
